Friday, June 13, 2003

I have spent way way too much time on the phone today with p.r. types, setting about getting my photo credentials squared away for the future to make all the photo magic happen. The behind-the-scenes crap that makes people's eyes glaze over quicker than you can say public relations nonsense.
But, at the risk of glaze, here's a super-primo example of the types of malarkey phonecalls I field from biased interested parties:
Ummm, hi, NAN-SEEEEEE, this is (X) I'm so excited (first tip-off that the b.s. will be flying shortly) about this opportunity and I KNOW (yikes, presumptions make my skin absolutely crawl) that you'll be excited about this opportunity.
(more details, more details)
Thee Jared, the guy who lost 245 pounds eating Subway sandwiches, is coming to town and... he's very structured... and I can get you an interview with him.
I had to get an okay with him first and then call you, so the time is 8:45AM on the 26th and you can have a few minutes with him and I know that you love people and what makes them tick and this is such a great human interest story... he's really such a motivated man.
(incredulity had, of course, set in a while back, but, summoning all of my diplomatic molecules forth I said)
Well, thanks for thinking of me and it is a great story but I'm not interested in it for my column.
(secret thought: Guess what Media Lady? Everybody in this fair land, even those that barely know what television is, knows the story of Jared, carbon dated now at about five years - call me when Johnny Depp rolls into town and I'll meet his jet/plane/bus/limo at any ol' hour, thanks and buh-bye!)

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