Closest I've come to giving someone a well-deserved klunk on ze head in recent memory.
Shooting a race at a college. College has a will-do (by all outward appearances) undergrad to chauffeur me and the video guy, who I've known since his heady rock and roll days, out amongst the race course to get some ACTION shots.
So we pull away in this physical therapy major's micro-mini vehicle... of which he is very very proud. You can tell by its embellishments, his dusting of the hi-fi with his fingertips.
We crawl away from the college, he's a really cautious driver and 100 feet away from the college my suspicions are aroused. Mr. PT Major doesn't seem to realize that me and the vid guy need to get There and get back to the finish line quick fast in a hurry.
He is driving 15 mph. He doesn't know the race course. I should have bailed immediately but decide to, to paraphrase John, Give Peace/Trust a Chance.
So.
I am in passenger/shotgun seat watching his dashboard. We need to drive faster, I say.
Mr. PT says to me C H I L L.
Now I am mentally lunging for his throat.
Me and vid guy shoot race action and rush back to car to make it to finish line when the kid further freaks on us that he WILL NOT GET A SPEEDING TICKET, THAT HE'S VOLUNTEERING TODAY, NOT GETTING PAID, WILL NOT RISK A TICKET.
I say
Look...
now if Yours Truly ever begins a statement to Yourself Truly you know that it's an aural paint melting off the walls kind of statement.
... you are driving 15 mph. The speed limit is 35 here. Mr. Vid, hanging out the hatchback concurs with the pro-35 stance.
Kid tells us both to C H I L L.
We meander back to finish line when I see the first three men in the race chugging up the street, yell, Oh Fuck, open door and hit the road running...
remember we are going a mere 15 mph.
Me and the vid guy are running along with first, second and third place men and I'm thinking not only am I glad I work out 4x per week doing cardio, weight lifting and Pilates but my impulse is to yell Hey GUYS slow down.
I get the shot, vid guy gets his footage.
After the heat of the heat I find my booker and tell him about PT's freakout.
I'm not 100% fersher on this but think that kid might now be in super-detention or expelled or maybe sent down the lake to a really nice state school.
Momentary Love.