Friday, March 22, 2002

Lest you think my Perfect World is all about cavorting with rockstars present & future and trading in smushed vehicles for shiny new ones, here's a little story for you.
Yesterday was my absolute least fav event - ever! - to photograph for the newspaper... an ultra-boring arts award luncheon.
Two clues when something will suck: 1. it's called a BASH. 2. it's called a LUNCHEON (rhymes avec truncheon).
So this thing crawls along for 2.5 hours and there's a platform of people, many of whom give rambling speeches, a huge roomful of art community types and corporate sponsors and banquet-style fare.
The first thing I noted upon entering the sea of tables was the absolute absence of light on the high platform/at podium. There were four tiny lights about 100' back from the platform, and gelled to boot with a nice hazy orange/pink. Oh, and the background was black. What does this mean? No ambient light is available and I had to burst forth light from the flash.
So, as a speaker rambled, I sat with a table full of people I know close to stage (our newspaper was table #29, a good hike from stage) and one woman sweetly approached me from this org of sitters and asked if I'd speak to some youths at risk into classical music THIS EVENING and give a presentation about writing about the arts so that they can, moments later, watch the symphony perform and, hopefully, write something snazzy about it.
Of course I said yes.
Here's what I'll tell them:
1. procrastinate, it gets adrenaline flowing.
2. either caffeine or alcohol is necessary on table/desk upon which you are writing, depending on concentration level.
3. get a thesaurus.
4. be honest, you earn street cred when you're real.
5. don't be afraid to toss in a smattering of poetry or fiction to spice up your writing about music.
and, lastly,
6. don't fucking ramble.
Maybe I'll have to edit this a bit - but basically that's it.
Over, out, about, rock on.

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