Back in the Shiny Apple where, unlike anywhere else on ze planet, one can eat to one's heart's content around the stinkin' clock.
Have been reading The Rules of Engagement by Anita Brookner since procuring it from CDG yesterday, after le metro ride to airport, when I had to arouse Beth from her above-ground and bumpy slumber to say Beth, dearest, we are on the wrong track, we must go back two stops to catch B3. And on. I had noted there were too many butterfly bushes (which grow wildly in France) and not enough gypsy encampments.

Sojourn Fun Facts about Yours Truly:

* Number of multi-coloured shots imbibed by Yours Truly at the wedding of Inbal & Gideon in Tiberias, rolled out or carried out onto disco-ball-adorned (4 total) dance floor by the Tippler Sisters, twin shotgirls in fun fur cowgal hats.
= Indeterminate.

* Number of American Splendours puffed out over Sea of Galilea during aforementioned wedding.
= 4.

* Total number of feet of Yours Truly soaked in Sea of Galilea night of wedding.
= 2.

* Percentage of times Yours Truly successfully infiltrated AirFrance First Class lounge for coffee and wi-fi.
= 50%.

* Number of officious French bitches who gave Yours Truly one of her very own paintmelt stares over counter when attempting to infiltrate AirFrance VIP lounge.
= 1.

* Number of times Yours Truly misheard (due to 20 years of attending/shooting rock & roll extravaganzas) French waiter and believed he'd said I've ordered you gizzard for after your lunch (while lunching at Musée d'Orsay) instead of what questioning me as to what I'd like for dessert.
= 1.

* Number of times Beth thought I was joking about the gizzard/dessert mix-up.
= 1.

* Believing me to be Française, due to blatant savoir-faire, total number of Parisians asking Yours Truly for directions.
= 3.

* Total number of Francis Bacon paintings that blew head off of Perfect me, so to speak.
= 5, including favored one, ironically from Middling City's Albright-Knox Art Gallery (a piece that, to my Perfect memory, has never graced their walls).

* Number of kir royals slargled by Yours Truly.
= Not enough.